A Hole in the World
by Green Bunny
Summary: Decode Version. Birdy reflects on her time with Tsutomu and as events unfold in the world two hearts are drawn closer together.
1. Stand By Me

**Yes, Yes, I know I'm shirking my writing responsibilities for my other works but this popped into my head and I had to get it down. It may turn into a three-parter. **

**We shall see.**

**Even though Birdy the Mighty: Decode has been out for a while there have been surprisingly few Birdy fics. So, I wrote one. This part takes place right after the incident with the Ryunka but the rest will likely follow after the events of the second season. **

**Anyway, be warned. I don't like Birdy or Tsutomu's romantic pairings at all. I hated Sayaka and could have cared less about the guy Birdy was supposed to like, though I understood it better. Birdy and Tsutomu will be more appropriately paired with each other. **

**So there.**

**Also, I don't own any of the characters from Birdy the Mighty.**

O

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

O

It was eating at her; the memory. She tried to fight it... She'd almost had it under control... almost. Then the medical techs came. They appeared silently behind her in their white lab coats. Looking more like ghosts than saviors, they descended upon the pieces of Tsutomu's body. As they carefully picked him up and placed him in the medical stasis chamber the memories rushed back in. Birdy could only sit there, helpless, and watch.

**"Sayaka, you'll be okay now."** Tsutomu had said. He smiled lovingly at the girl who had once contained the Ryunka, sound asleep as if nothing had ever happened.

But Birdy knew.

**"You idiot... You're such an idiot!"** She had screamed. Birdy had wanted to slap him or shake him. Anything! But that wouldn't have changed the fact that he'd done it. Tsutomu had taken her burden away. He'd taken it like it was his to bear! It wasn't! She was the one no one wanted; the one that no one would miss. She deserved to take in the Ryunka!

As if reading her mind, even though he wasn't in her mind anymore, he smiled. **"You were thinking the same thing, weren't you? You were gonna let the Ryunka infect you, and kill yourself along with it. You're an idiot."**

Her heart raged at the injustice of it all and without thinking she argued back, **"I'm a Federation investigator! You're..."**

**"I don't want you to die, Birdy."** Tsutomu interrupted, a smile lit his features.

And, right then, her heart had fallen to pieces. Here was someone who shouldn't have cared, who shouldn't have been made to bother, caring about _her-_an Altairian! Why? Why did he care?

**"Tsutomu..."** She pressed again.

The boy ignored her and continued speaking. **"...Or Sayaka either, so I'll..."** He winced suddenly. His body began to glow as the Ryunka fought for control. Distressed, she called his name out. She was losing him to the Ryunka.

**"Hurry, Birdy! Before the Ryunka takes over!"** He shouted. And somehow, despite everything. He managed to drag himself up onto the railing behind him. **"Hurry!"** He said again as he stretched his arms out as if he were casually supporting himself, even though the effort to do so must have been great.

Her heart had screamed at her to find another option, yet her mind trampled on it with the truth she could no longer avoid. She had to kill him, again, but this time by choice.

**"Birdy..."** He coaxed gently, even as he glowed in the night. His smile was serene and it hurt to watch.

As she gathered the energy into her fist, tears gathered in her eyes. As she reared up she watched his head lean back, as if waiting to receive a loving embrace rather than the mortal hit he knew was coming.

**"Tsutomu!"** She had cried as she threw her impotent frustration into her fist with all the power she could muster.

Her fist had cut through his body like a hot knife through butter. She had felt the warmth of his blood on her hand just before the Ryunka's enraged glow, intermixed with the light from her punch, blinded her.

Afterwords, she hadn't seen where the Ryunka had gone. Someone had spoken with her... Nejula, most likely. She hadn't cared. All she cared about was him. She remembered collapsing to her knees next to his body and had reached out to touch his face. It was still warm. He looked like he was merely sleeping.

Birdy couldn't stop herself from wondering why. Why had he, a human so easily broken, cared so much for her? He had wanted to save Sayaka, sure, but he could have easily have allowed Birdy to accept the Ryunka and then that would have been the end of it. Why did it hurt her heart so much to see him take that burden upon himself? She had always been alone; it wasn't like she was unfamiliar with the feeling. At the same time, she couldn't stop replaying in her mind his argument. **"I don't want you to die, Birdy."** He... cared for her, and that thought warmed her heart. It set it to beating in a way she hadn't felt since Violin.

A light touch on her shoulder had broken her thoughts then. The med techs needed her to move so they could see to Tsutomu's body. One of them explained to her that they could save him, again, and that she needn't worry. Yet, this time, she did.


	2. Say Goodbye, Hello

**Moving on through season two and beyond...**

0

"She'll come back."

Tsutomu did not respond to her. Instead, he sighed and pulled his knees to his chest and let his head tilt back until it touched the wall. He glanced about his bedroom morosely with eyes that looked like, but were not really, his.

"I don't think so, Birdy. I think this is it." He replied finally. He was surprised at how calm he sounded. He had been convinced he would have taken things harder than he really felt.

"That's not true. Sayaka wouldn't give up on you so easily..." She answered.

"She's right though. We live very far away from each other. We can't see each other very often and it's going to be even worse when she starts college in Australia." He argued, raising his eyes to the ceiling. He knew she had been fighting for them. Ever since Nataru had vanished she'd been obsessed with seeing them make it together as a couple. More than a few time he'd wondered if he had stayed in the relationship more for her sake than his own.

"Besides," He added, "I, no, _we_ have been busy, too, you know. You have your assignments and that's made me rather unavailable, Birdy." He gave a pointed look to himself in the mirror across the room.

Birdy sighed, exasperated. "But you love her!"

Tsutomu was quiet at this. He did. Or, at least, he had loved her. But, the fact was that, as she was while possessed by the Ryunka, Sayaka had changed. She saw him as a reminder of that which she had lost and couldn't remember: the grandfather and life-long housekeeper; dead and buried, and friendships she remembered only peripherally. Tsutomu's friends had gradually drifted away from her-a natural side effect of living so far away. Sayaka had made new friends locally. It had been only a matter of time before she had left him behind, and part of him admitted that he had known it since his "second" first date with the traumatized girl.

"I know... but it wasn't my decision to make." He smiled sadly at his reflection. "Anyway, it's all right. Hey, what about that case you were telling me about? When are we leaving?"

He could hear Birdy huff and puff a little before responding, unhappy at the abrupt shift in conversation."Tomorrow at four in the morning."

"Aw, Birdy! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Tsutomu moaned. He hoped she'd take the bait and forget their earlier conversation.

She did. "Why? It wouldn't have made a difference!" She erupted angrily.

"At least I could have gone to bed a little earlier!" He whined, eyeing the clock he kept on his desk. It was nearly eleven at night.

"Oh shut up... you'll be fine!" Birdy dismissed breezily.

"I'll be fine? Won't you need some sleep, too? Isn't it a good idea to be fully rested before taking on another life-threatening case?"

"Altairians don't need as much sleep as humans!"

"Oh, really? The why'd you sleep in til' noon yesterday? Huh?"

The argument went on for a good hour in such a manner until Birdy hit herself with a pillow.

0

It was cold the morning they left. The sun had barely begun its' ascent as Birdy climbed into the ship. Moments later Tsutomu watched through her eyes as she began the start-up procedures for launch. Unlike airplane flights it took her mere moments to perform the proper checks and lift off. Soon, the city shrank behind them until there was nothing discernible except the faint lights that illuminated those parts of Japan's countryside. Then, after a while, that too was gone until the earth itself steadily vanished into the darkness of space. He thought he would have been sad to see the planet disappear. Yet, once it was gone, all he felt was relief and... something else too... a stirring in his heart that he hadn't noticed before: excitement. He was about to embark on another adventure; one he shared with another. That thought alone made all the difference. He wasn't just excited for the thrill of a new escapade, he was looking forward to it because she was there. And that alone, made all the difference.

It was time to let go.

Birdy wasn't sure if Tsutomu had meant to mentally speak aloud but she faintly heard him sigh."Goodbye, Sayaka."


End file.
